you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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