I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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