I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
