What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
