Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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