woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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