I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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