Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
