I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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