drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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