i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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