And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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