I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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