you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Randomize
