Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
