Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize