sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
