I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
