All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize