if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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