last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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