i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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