He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
