After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think people are normalizing furries
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
