When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
