we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
