i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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