If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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