She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
