just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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