do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
