Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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