Nicole vs. Life
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
