But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize