so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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