butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
