The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
