I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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