it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
