i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
