I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
