Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
