susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
