Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
