I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
