we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
