Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize