She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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