So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
