Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
