you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
