she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
