and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
