i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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