did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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