when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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