Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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